A Crisis, Finger Licker and Penis Doctor

I was sitting by myself quietly charting when a manager suddenly grabbed my arm and with obvious concern in her voice, asked if I was okay. Solemnly, I answered yes. She walked over to another nurse and did the same thing. She worked her way across the unit and then left. So, what crisis triggered her need to check each one of us to make sure that we were okay? The power went out and we had to manage with only the light from the sun for a few seconds before the generator kicked in. Oh, woe is us.

Tonight, I had a patient who insisted that his pills be placed in his mouth, even though he was perfectly capable of doing that himself. He likes to lick the nurses' fingers when they give him pills. Thank goodness I had a student nurse tonight to do my dirty work.

This patient also insists on peeing in his wash basin. He uses the same basin for holding next to his mouth when he vomits. We've given him different containers for each function, but he insists on using one for all. It could be worse, though. At least he poops in a bedpan.

One of the nurses on another floor, who I don't much care for, attacked one of the aides and shook her violently. I don't know what the aide did to so enrage her, but I'm pretty sure that we aren't allowed to shake our coworkers. I suppose I should be saddened by this story, but I'm not. It's oddly pleasurable to watch someone you don't like fall from grace. (Her nose is a tad too brown for my taste.) Sorry, I'm human.

One of my coworkers needed to insert a catheter into a male patient, but the patient had an enlarged prostate which made insertion difficult. Finally, she gave up and decided to ask the urologist on call to do it. She got the phone number from the hospital operator and when the nurse told the doctor what she wanted, he replied, "I'm not a penis doctor. I'm a cardiologist." The operator gave her the wrong number. But, I'm wondering, if that's what doctors call urologists, what do they call gynecologists?