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Misadventurous Melissa

Everyday is an adventure, or misadventure as the case may be. It is the latter that makes for the best stories, inspiring the name of my blog. I'm a nurse and an attorney (and way too silly sometimes). I am retired now. WELCOME to my blog! This is a work of fiction inspired by true events. The patients I refer to are a patchwork quilt of various patient's problems mixed together. If you think you recognize someone, you are wrong. These people do not really exist.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

My Uterus

This is what I have been diagnosed with: "disordered proliferative endometrium with glandular irregularity and crowding consistent with simple to complex hyperplasia without atypia plus associated glandular metaplastic changes and a focal suggestion of slight polypoid features." In other words, I'm going to live.

I'm officially postmenopausal now. Bleeding after menopause is never normal, so when that happened, I made an appointment with the doctor. It took a month to get in to see him. He then referred me to a ob-gyn. It took nearly two months to see her. I could have used some tricks to speed up the process, but I was confident that the problem was hormonal, rather than cancer. I've been using estrogen cream to deal with menopause. That can cause the lining of the uterus to grow thick with gunk. Progesterone will trigger a period to correct the problem, but I was never prescribed it.

The uterine biopsy was the worst part of the experience. A narrow tube was snaked through the cervix into the uterus and tissue was scraped out. The doctor also found a polyp on the cervix and used forceps to extract it, after several tries. I still get cramps when I think about it. And no, pain killers were not used for the procedure.

I haven't spoken with the doctor since the procedure. I sneaked a look at my chart online to see the biopsy results. I expect that she will prescribe progesterone which will be followed by a period of epic proportions. I'm starting to understand why so many women get their uterus removed. I'm keeping mine, but they can be so much trouble at times.


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9 Comments:

At 11/30/2008 03:31:00 PM, Blogger Alan said...

Oh don't be shy, tell us something personal about yourself.

Way off the subject. I was walking through a Home Depot parking lot today and saw a car with a Santa Clarita Ballet decal in the window. Don't recall if it was a school or a performing company.

 
At 11/30/2008 03:37:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow... that's a long wait to get into the doctor(s). What's up with that?

 
At 11/30/2008 06:34:00 PM, Blogger dkgoodman said...

Heh. Good one, Alan.

Just picture me with fingertips in my ears...
"la la la la la la la la"

I'm glad it's benign.

euwwwwwww

 
At 12/01/2008 11:11:00 AM, Blogger Madwag said...

oh how I feel for you... that tube thing biopsy really hurts... OUCH! I am so glad I got mine taken out.... so so glad

 
At 12/02/2008 10:30:00 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

I agree, they can be so much trouble at times. Goodness knows I've had my share of problems. I feel like my uterus has served it's purpose and I wouldn't mind being rid of it. Have they developed a technique for removing it through the belly button yet? ;)

 
At 12/04/2008 12:31:00 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Alan and Dave, that's nothing. Next week I'm having a colonoscopy. Stay tuned.

Lisa, it takes about a month to get an appointment with a primary physician and about two months for an appointment with a specialist. I could have sped things up by spending a couple of days waiting in urgent care.

Madwag, I'm glad that things worked out for you.

Connie, they can remove the uterus through tiny band-aide sized incisions. They use something similar to a hand-held blender to grind up the uterus so that it will fit through the incision. It's better to keep your uterus if you can stand it. There are many potential complications from removing it, such as incontinence and pain from scar tissue.

 
At 12/04/2008 09:54:00 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Seriously, a hand-held blender? Like what I use to puree soup? Yikes! I'd be afraid they might nick a bowel or something.

 
At 12/05/2008 03:26:00 PM, Blogger Alan said...

I'm staying tuned. Be sure and get some nice diverticulum pictures (in color of course).

 
At 12/07/2008 12:59:00 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Connie, that would scare me too. Uterine puree is one thing. Bowel puree is another thing all together.

Alan, I don't think so. :)

 

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