The Three Inch Disgrace

We used to get a twenty-five dollar gift certificate for Christmas. Then, the tax laws changed. Because we would have to pay income tax on the gift certificate under the new rules, my employer did away with the Christmas presents. How thoughtful.

To make it up to us, they have been buying us food treats instead. I have no recognition of last year's food gift, which in and of itself is noteworthy. I have an exceptional memory when it comes to things like food. It must not have been good, but also not so bad that it is forever etched in my memory.

Anyway, we got this year's Christmas present. We heard that it was going to be Subway sandwiches. They have a "five dollar foot long" special right now, so we expected a foot long sub. It was disappointing, considering that was going to be our entire present, but at least subs are okay to eat. When the time came, we were each presented with a quarter of a sandwich. I measured it just to make sure. It was a three incher.

We don't mean to be ungrateful. They didn't have to give us anything. And with the bigwigs losing over seven hundred million of our dollars on the stock market, there isn't much money to spare right now. We are lucky to have jobs. And, we have so much else to be thankful for. But still, a three inch Subway sandwich for Christmas?

The day shift did a little better than we did. They got a traditional breakfast with eggs, potatoes, breakfast meat and bread. They were complaining too, though. What they really wanted was rice and fish for breakfast. That's why the gift certificates were such good presents. Everyone could buy whatever they wanted. One year, I got a purple purse. Another year, I got a blue chiffon party dress. This year, I got a quarter-footer.