The Answer to our Airline Woes

Dear Continental, American Airlines, Southwest, Delta, United, et all:

I have the solution to prevent hijackings and get our airline industry back on its feet at the same time. Replace all female flight attendants with good lookin' strippers. What the Hell? The attendants have gotten old and haggard looking. They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would double, triple, perhaps quadruple the alcohol consumption and get a party atmosphere going in the cabin. Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. And, of course, every heterosexual businessman in this country would start flying again hoping to see naked women.

Hijackings would come to a screeching halt and the airline industry would see record revenue. Why the Hell didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely, Bill Clinton