Hard Pears and a Vagina

Hard, green pears were served to the patients tonight. A few people actually attempted to eat them, but no one was successful. There were just a few rat-like scrapings where people tried to take a bite out of their hard little pear.

Walking into a patient's room, I noticed the patient's hands under the covers fiddling with her pelvic area.

The patient complained, "There's something in my vagina." To my horror, I realized that she was tugging on her catheter.

"Don't do that. You have a catheter,"I replied.

"There's something in my vagina," she repeats and pulls some more.

"You have a catheter in your bladder. It's draining urine. Stop that."

"There's something in my vagina."

Holding up the bag of urine, I say, "See this? That tube is draining urine. If you keep yanking on it you're going to hurt yourself."

"There's something in my vagina."She yanks some more.

"Please don't pull that. I don't want to have to tie your hands down."

The patient's eyes become less focused and she starts to become limp. The morphine she got earlier for pain starts to take effect. She falls asleep and her urethra is safe. Morphine settles another argument.