Feeling Like A Whore

I really hate going to the doctor, especially when I'm perfectly healthy. But, I had no choice. I was almost out of Retin-A and the only way to get more was to see the doctor. I'm fighting this aging thing tooth and nail and I need Retin-A to fight wrinkles.

So, to get my med, I had to take my clothes off and let the doctor touch me. I felt like a whore, trading my body for drugs. I gave him what he wanted and he gave me what I wanted. Now, I have enough refills to last me another year.

I'm still new to my HMO. I'm accustomed to having a family doctor who would take the time to talk to me and make me feel like he cared about me. My visit today was very fast and efficient. My appointment was at 11:20 and by 11:45, I was back in my car. During that time I registered at the front, saw the nurse, changed into a gown, saw the doctor, changed back into my clothes, dropped my prescription off at the pharmacy, registered at the lab, got blood drawn, changed into a gown, had a chest X ray, waited for the results, got dressed, took the X ray to my doctor and picked up my prescription. It felt like an assembly line. I can't really complain about the care, but it just felt so impersonal.

I want medicine to be the way it was in the old days. I want a doctor who remembers me, knows my parents and family history. I want a doctor who is not surprised to learn that I am not menopausal. I want a doctor who doesn't just chatter on about how perfectly healthy I am, without asking if I have any concerns. Most of all, I miss my old family doctor who would sit down, look me in the eyes and take 20 minutes to talk with me. HMO's suck.