This Makes Up For A Lot

Last night, I had two apples for dinner. Tonight I had this. It's always feast or famine around here. My tongue hurts from eating so much candy. But what choice do I have? It disappears so quickly that I have to eat it while it's still there.

A nurse was giving report on a patient with a minor injury and she mentioned that the patient wanted to die. I must have looked shocked because she quickly added that he was okay now, he had a large BM. Huh? Is that all it takes to get back the will to live? I was thinking that we needed to get a psyche consult. Silly me. Going to the bathroom solved all of his problems.

Tonight an elderly patient kept chanting Mama. After a couple of hours of that we decided that we had had enough. We began flipping through manuals to try and figure out the fastest way we could deliver a dose of haldol without violating our policies. A supervisor wandered by and I mentioned that we were not going to listen to that all night. She laughed and said,"So, you're going to drug her?" I said, "exactly."She understood. Good old haldol, a nurse's best friend. (Who says that we don't do chemical restraints?)


A patient wanted his blinds closed, but he said that I should go find a big man to help me because in the morning when the blinds were opened, the big male nurse had fought and struggled hard to open them. I wasn't strong enough. I simply smiled, walked over to the blinds and gently pulled on the string. The blinds closed smoothly without effort. Smugly, I left the room. Skill over brute strength won. The big strong man didn't know which string to pull.