What's That Smell?

I walked into a room with four patients and it had a poopy smell. Three of the patients were incontinent and confused, so one by one, I began rolling them over to find out who did it. They were all clean. My attention became focused on the one "normal" patient in the room. Approaching him, I noticed a pile of ethnic food on his table. That was the source of the smell. Thank goodness I won't be going to his house for dinner.

My patient was feeling restless and decided to go for a walk. He left wearing only a gown and socks and took his IV pole and other equipment with him. Every floor has sitting areas for people to, well, sit. He became fatigued and sat down. A security guard came along and told him that the sitting area was only for patients and that he would have to leave. The guard was not joking. Perhaps when they hire security guards they should first make sure that they have an IQ at least the same as a monkey.