Not So Fantastic Sam's

I hate getting my hair cut. I would almost rather go to the dentist. I said almost. I can't remember the last time I got a trim and people were starting to say things like, "Your hair is starting to get really long." But no one ever said that it looked nice. The only comments regarded length.

And then last week I saw something that frightened me. It was a woman who I'm guessing was in her sixties. Her snow white hair straggled down to her waist. She was tall, very fair and she looked like a ghost woman. Scariest of all, she looked like me or like what I could easily become someday. I don't want to look like a ghost and scare people like that. It was time to do something about my hair.

I went to Fantastic Sam's. It's a convenient, cheap place to go and I've always been satisfied with the cuts, but what an ordeal they put me through. Every time we go through the same routine. They insult my hair, my shampoos and conditioners and then describe in great detail what wonderful products they sell and how if I use their shampoo all of my life problems will be solved and I will live happily ever after. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but it is an annoying hard sell technique that only serves to annoy me rather than make me eager to buy.

I don't wish to prolong the sales talk or engage in unpleasantness, so I use a fogging technique. I agree with everything they say with the hope that they will soon run out of steam and move on to another topic. It works, but I'm so tempted to say what I'm really thinking and tell them how bad I think their shampoo and conditioner is and how it makes my hair look and feel like straw. I would be better off using scouring powder on my hair than their products and that the first thing I do when I get home after getting my hair cut is to wash it. Their products leave a sticky residue in my hair and getting it out of my hair is my number one priority. In other words, their products suck. So there.

Not wishing to engage in combat, I just sit there silently and brood. Is it any wonder that so much time goes by between visits? The results were acceptable, but it's going to be a long time before I go back.