Lubricant, Orange Hair And Stirring A Foot

It's never a good sign when you're starting your shift and see a package of lubricant attached to the clipboard. The means only one thing. The patient is constipated and something involving lubricant must be done about it. Two of my patient clipboards today were adorned with lubricant. *sigh*

This morning I washed my hair until I ran out of hot water. Afterwards, the color wasn't quite as Bozo-like, but my hair was still orange on top of my head. Next, I slathered my hair with blonde hair coloring and let it soak in for an hour. Again, there was some improvement, but the top of my head is still orange, although no longer the same freakish neon shade. The picture I posted didn't do the color justice.

At work only one person asked what happened to my hair. She wanted to know why I only dyed the top of my head orange, as if I would do something like that on purpose. She did say that she liked the new color better because my face didn't look so washed out and fair. Uh, thanks, I think.

A patient was upset that we weren't doing enough for her. Asked what she wanted, she said, "I want you to stir it."

Asked what she wanted stirred, she pointed to her feet and said, "Nobody has stirred it."

Well, she got us on that one. Nobody had stirred her feet. What's more, she's going to remain disappointed.