Yogurt Thief
I am tired of being a victim. It is time to go on the offensive and make a victim out of the perpetrator. The yogurt thief must be stopped.
Everyday, I take two cartons of yogurt to work and leave them in the fridge. Once or twice a week, one or both cartons disappear. It doesn't matter if I seal them in a bag or leave them loose. The thief is relentless.
I want to put something icky in a carton and wait for the thief to take the bait. I don't want to actually kill the thief, diarrhea would be sufficient. Ex Lax would probably do the trick. Or maybe I could put something horrible at the bottom of a container, like some dog doo.
What do you think? How can I keep my yogurt safe?
Written by Melissa on 12:29 AM
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Melissa blogging from sunny Santa Clarita, Southern California, United States.
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11 Comments:
It's best to stick with something that could conceivably happen at the factory such as dead mice, large bugs, hydraulic fluid, etc.
Easier to deny when the lawsuit hits.
Are you sure you're not a lawyer? That's good advice. I once opened a can that had a bandaide in it. Perhaps I could try that.
Laxatives in the yoghurt - LARGE quantities. That way when questioned you can claim it was "because you needed them" - nobody needs hydraulic fluid, it's harder to claim. ;-)
Of course, I have no idea of the legality of this but then...nicking your yoghurt is not exactly legal is it?
a massive bug hidden smack dab at the bottom..... or how about some of your lovely long blonde hair... yum!
Can you put it in a cooler labeled "biohazard"?
Have you tried writing your name on it?
We run into this a lot here, too, only with whole lunches. They put a sign on the fridge that says "you never know what could be in the next lunch you steal. Do you feel lucky?"
I'm guessing in a bigger environment with lots of external people milling about, this could be seen as a threat of some sort (not recommended..well.. you're a lawyer.. lol)
I wonder if it's a patient or a staff person.. or one of those doctor people. :)
Punctuation, laxatives would be the most entertaining solution, for me at least.
Madwag, I don't have enough hair to spare, but I have access to gobs of blonde fur.
Connie, we have plenty of biohazard bags, but if such a bag was put in a fridge intended for food, it would be promptly dumped.
Lisa, only nurses and support staff have access to the room where the fridge is kept. The doctor's badges won't unlock the door. It is someone I work directly with who is doing the stealing. I like the sign idea. There's nothing wrong with the occasional threat.
yes... the sign is a brilliant idea... I would write it right on the yogurt.
Spread peanut butter (or other lickable substance) over the lid, then seal in the bag. If the perp is willing to clean, you must accept defeat (as in find another non-cold caloric source). Bummer, I know....
At my last job when this happened they put in a webcam to watch the fridge. The culprit stealing food items turned out to be...
the building's night-shift security guard.
It's been a while since your last post. Everything okay?
Anon, ewww. Then I would have to deal with the mess. Can't I just poison the perp?
Dave, I'm okay. I'm just feeling stressed and whiney. I'll get back to blogging when I can figure out a way to make work or anything else, sound amusing.
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