Heroin And Other Stuff

A heroin addict has been our guest for about a week. The funny thing is, he's terrified of needles. He needs an antibiotic shot everyday and beforehand he has to be premedicated with morphine. For someone who is covered with morphine tracks, his fear is most unusual. What's especially strange is that the morphine is administered by injection. So, he wants a shot before his shot. *gasp* You don't suppose he's drug seeking do you?

Another patient came in for a broken arm and now his digestive tract has stopped working. For unknown reasons, peristalsis has just come to a grinding halt. We now have a tube going down his nose and into his stomach so that we can suction the juices that collect and can go no further down the digestive tract. Without the tube, he can't stop vomiting. But now, the juices that we're suctioning up look and smell like poop. When poop backs up into the stomach, that's really bad. At least he's not vomiting the poop. When that happens, I want to vomit too.

Lastly, the patient with the dirty, girly bits has a bladder that exceeds the capacity of our bedpans. The result is that evertime she pees, we have a flood. Ever try changing the linens for a bedbound, morbidly obese, smelly patient with a new hip? I got the pleasure several times.

So, how was everyone else's evening? See any good shows on TV?