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Misadventurous Melissa

Everyday is an adventure, or misadventure as the case may be. It is the latter that makes for the best stories, inspiring the name of my blog. I'm a nurse and an attorney (and way too silly sometimes). I am retired now. WELCOME to my blog! This is a work of fiction inspired by true events. The patients I refer to are a patchwork quilt of various patient's problems mixed together. If you think you recognize someone, you are wrong. These people do not really exist.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Are My Testicles Black?

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour surgical procedure.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!

"The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much.That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......


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"A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"


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5 Comments:

At 3/27/2006 09:56:00 AM, Blogger Mary said...

Oh, sheesh!

 
At 3/27/2006 12:41:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cute.

Just curious--did you practice law for awhile? Are you happy with your decision to become a nurse? Thanks. JD Considering RN Path.

 
At 3/27/2006 01:33:00 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Mary, thanks, I think. :)

Anonymous, I practiced law for 16 years. Quitting was one of the smartest things I have ever done. I have no regrets whatsoever. Law really sucks.

 
At 3/27/2006 10:30:00 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

LMAO, too funny!

 
At 3/28/2006 10:16:00 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Sorry, Michelle, I hope I didn't offend you with that last comment.

HP, thanks.

 

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