Busted, No Pants And Poop

She had her nerve showing up. It's the weekend and she should have been home, but our boss decided to come to work. She caught us all doing nothing. I was in a dark, empty room watching the Oscars. A coworker had her feet on the desk and was reading a novel. Others were sitting around chatting and eating. I was in charge and this was the kind of ship I run. At least she didn't say anything. I don't think that she's totally unfamiliar with the concept of doing nothing either.

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A patient who had been involved in a car accident came up to our floor from ER and I asked an aide to do an inventory of his belongings. He had the usual stuff, a top, jacket, shoes, etc., but he had no pants. The aide was upset by this. I don't know if she thought that he had been going around without pants or what. I explained that ER probably cut off his pants and threw them away.

Hopefully, when he's discharged, a family member will bring some pants for him. Patients, especially young males, hate leaving in a gown. It threatens their shaky masculinity to wear anything that resembles a backless dress.

When I admitted him, I had to ask the routine questions, which includes asking when he had his last bowel movement. He didn't know what this meant and English was his first and only language. When I rephrased the question to ask him when he last pooped, he got it. I'm glad he knew what poop was. I wasn't looking forward to going down the entire list of slang words until I found one he knew.