Dirt, Gasoline and Saw Dust Therapy

This was this evening's haul, a 7 pound dark chocolate cake and See's chocolates. This is also what I had for dinner tonight. It could be a coincidence, but this might be a factor in why I feel so sick right now.
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The patient has pressure ulcers on his bottom which requires a fairly complicated dressing change. He was not happy about our choice of ointments and dressing materials. He wanted me to apply dirt, gasoline and sawdust to his butt. I must have looked shocked, so he explained. Years ago, he had a chain saw injury and instead of going to the hospital, he mixed together dirt, gasoline and saw dust and packed his wound with it. The bleeding stopped and the wound healed nicely.

I'm not sure if he discovered a miracle cure or if he's a lunatic. Too bad that I couldn't do what he wanted, but I would prefer to keep my job.

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Another unusual patient said that she was allergic to bananas, spinach and peas. Usually, people with allergies have reactions like swelling or rashes. Her reaction, so she said, was A fib (atrial fibrillation). I can't figure out how she came to this conclusion. A fib can't be felt. The only way she could know this would be if she had an EKG at home and checked her heart rhythm after eating various foods. I seriously doubt that she has done this.

Her chart said that she has A fib due to damage to her heart from open heart surgery. She can probably eat all of the bananas, spinach and peas that she wants, but when beliefs conflict with science, beliefs sometimes win.

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Another delightful patient had gangrene. Once that smell gets in my nose, it takes a long time to get rid of it. The air is filled with the scent of orange blossoms now, but when I came out of work, all I could smell was gangrene. That's still what I smell. I'm going to have to snort some water tonight to try and wash my sinuses.