NURSE...Coming...NURSE...Coming

Tonight we had 5 nurses and one aide for 10 patients. It made for an easy evening, which was especially joyous since we finally got rid of a patient who has been living with us for over 2 months. We're not doing much for him except providing custodial care, which could be provided at home or in a board and care. The problem is, his family doesn't want him and no facility will take him. So, we're stuck. As much as we would like to, we can't dump him on a sidewalk someplace.

If he were pleasant it wouldn't be so bad, but he's verbally abusive at times and likes to yell NURSE at the top of his lungs. On a bad night he can yell for hours. Our response is COMING and then we go fluff his pillow or do whatever it is that he wants, leave and then he yells NURSE again. I've heard other patients yelling COMING in response to his NURSE. They know the routine. NURSE...COMING...NURSE...COMING. It's like Marco Polo.

Recently he yelled, threw things and banged his phone on the table the entire night. No one got any sleep. Patients complained to administration, we complained and so it was decided to move him to another unit. It was someone else's turn.

The charge nurse for another unit was told that he was being transferred there and that old, tough, crusty nurse began crying. It worked. They didn't get the patient. (Now that we know crying works, we will be practicing our spontaneous crying skills for future patients that we don't want.)

Anyway, another unit was found and they have him now. We can still here him faintly yelling off in the distance. We spent the remainder of the evening doing high fives, victory dances and laughing. Sometimes nursing doesn't suck.