The Board of Shame

A new absentee policy was approved today. For now on, if a person calls in sick, their name will be placed on a poster that says they called in sick today and it will be hung in the bathroom. There has been some grumbling (and hysterical laughter) over this new policy. This puzzles me because I think that it is a great rule except that it doesn't go far enough.

These are my ideas. On the bulletin board should be a bold title saying, "The Board of Shame." And, instead of being in the bathroom, it should be posted in the main lobby where everyone will be sure to see it. Because this a large facility and we don't know everyone's name, there should also be 8 by 10 glossies of offenders, along with their names. The humiliation shouldn't stop there. When the sick employees return to work, they should be required to stand in the corner during breaks, wear a dunce cap and write 1000 times, "I will not call in sick again." A public flogging should be reserved for repeat offenders.