The Elderly Spinster

(My brother sent me another one.)

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about preparing a will. The receptionist suggested they set up a convenient time for the spinster to come to the office. "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?," the elderly woman asked. The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and went to the spinster's home to discuss her estate and the will.

The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?" "I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank," she replied. "Tell me just how you would like the $40,000 to be distributed," the lawyer asked."Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on," said the woman. "I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral." "Well, for $35,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you," the lawyer exclaimed. "But I need to know what would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?" The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married and the fact is I've never slept with a man. So before I die, I'd like you to use the $5, 000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me just once." "This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."

That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request. After thinking about how much she could do around the house with $5,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.

The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went in. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out, so she blew the car horn. Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the county bury her."