Funny Lotion Sounds And Where's The Hole

My coworker was pumping hand lotion from the container that our employer provides, when she commented, "I don't like the sound that this is making." We stopped and listened for a few seconds while she continued to squirt lotion and than realized what she meant. It was a sound that I have not heard in a very long time, the sound of two people having a very good time. Of course we all laughed and laughed some more every time anyone got lotion. It was so bad that one of the patients asked if we were laughing at him. (People tend to think that everything is about them.) It had to be explained that the lotion bottle was making funny sounds. I'm never going to be able to keep a straight face again when getting lotion.

One of my patients tonight was mentally challenged and he needed to be catheterized. While I was setting up, he asked if they screen nurses for being sexual perverts. I said that that's not really a problem with nurses. He replied that it's a problem with priests. He then asked if I was a pervert. I told him that there is nothing sexy about helping people to go to the bathroom and that's mostly what we do. He seemed satisfied, but I was determined to get the procedure over with as quickly as possible, so that he wouldn't get the wrong idea.

Everything started out fine, he was normal in appearance and then I ran into a big problem. I couldn't find the damn hole. There was an opening where it should be, but it was false channel. I started examing him more closely, I turned the lights on, put on my glasses and I still couldn't find the hole. I was so embarrassed, surely he must have thought that I was a pervert for sure with all of the handling I was doing. I figured that he had to have one, so I just started poking him gently at random to see if it would go in anywhere. I got lucky. There was a tiny slit half-way down the shaft that the catheter slid into and a good amount of urine came out the tube. I hope that he doesn't think that I molested him.