Waaaaa...

Our annoying, lifer patient (meaning that he'll be here until he dies) spent a couple of hours going Waaaaaaaaa...in the most whiney, nasal voice imaginable. If I knew how, I would record that sound and post it here. It has to be heard to be believed. He was scaring the other patients. They don't realize he's nuts, they think that he's suffering terribly. One of my patients, who was scheduled for surgery later this evening, was crying because she thought he was a post-op patient in agony. She figured that was what she had to look forward to.

The lifer is such a gentleman too, at one point he stopped the waaaa...'s long enough to yell out, "Hey, come in here and check out my ... hole." Since we can't get rid of him, I think that we should buy a trailer, put it in the parking lot and move him into it. We could still take care of him and all of our other patients could be spared listening to him.

We got a new patient who's last name is Guypussy, or at least, that was the name written on our report sheet. It turned out that someone made a typo. (Sorry, I forgot to take a picture.) Imagine what it would be like if that had been the patient's correct name. I wouldn't want to go through life as Ms. Guypussy. It would probably be even worse for a guy.

Women should think twice before getting breast implants. I changed the gown of an elderly lady and her implants were hanging near her waist at the end of long pendulous breasts. Each breast resembled a tennis ball in the toe of a sock, hanging from her chest. On second thought, the alternative is to have an empty sock. I'm not sure which is preferable.