Four Mistakes

Last night at work, we ordered Thai food. I got mint fried pork on rice. When asked how hot I wanted it, I responded moderate. That was my first mistake. There was a bit of a language barrier and given the neighborhood, she may have thought that I said mucho or mas. I could be wrong, but I'm reasonably sure that I didn't request colon flushing, spincter burning hot, but that is what I got.

I like spicy food and have a fairly high tolerance for heat, but this was positively lethal. I ate it anyway. That was my second mistake. I got about half of it down before I gave up. I brought the rest home with me, figuring that I could dilute it with something to make it edible.

This morning I got up earlier than I would have liked because my body, apparently thinking that I had swallowed poison, was trying to rid my body of the toxin. Without going into detail, the ridding process was not much fun. On the plus side, I couldn't have absorbed many calories from the food.

For lunch, I made a large batch of rice, stir-fried some vegetables and mixed it in with the left-over dinner. That was my third mistake. No amount of bland food could counter-act the heat in the original dish. I ate it anyway. That was my fourth mistake. Now I have to go to work. The pain is just starting.