Nine Misadventures

For a beautiful day off, it sure sucked. It started out okay, a little on the hot side, but within my heat tolerance level. Then things started going downhill.

1) First, ants had invaded my kitchen. I couldn't deal with this before I had my first cup of tea, so while I was busy with the tea preparation, ants were climbing my legs. The entire floor was swarming with them. I would brush them off and up my legs they climbed again. Those little bastards can run fast. They are dead now and more have taken their place.

2) I wondered why fruit flies were swarming around the kitchen. They were after a squishy pineapple that went from green to rotten without any stage in between.

3) For breakfast, along with the tea, I had a mango and peanuts in the shell. Walking into the kitchen with the empty peanut shells, I noticed a big puddle of water from Murphy's earlier pond dip. I stepped carefully, knowing that the floor is like ice when wet, and felt one leg slip away from me. The next thing I knew, I was lying on the floor with peanut shells scattered across the floor. At least one good thing resulted from my figure skating lessons, I'm good at falling and not getting hurt. My only injury was annoyance.

4) Next I decided to wash the sheets on my bed. When I woke up this morning I noticed some brown streaks on my pillow. Kelsey has his own pillow, but he likes to sit on mine. While removing them, I stepped on a pillow and fell down again. I hadn't been drinking, honest.

5) My parents are coming over for dinner tomorrow and I planned on making salmon topped with prawns cooked in garlic butter. That required a trip to Costco. I got everything I needed, came home and discovered that the salmon never made it home. Checking the receipt, I saw that I had paid for the salmon. Not being able to deal with Costco again on a Saturday afternoon, I went to Vons.

6) While in the Costco, someone told me that that I still had the tags on my shorts. It was the glued on strip that gives the size, in big print, about a dozen times down the length of the garment. If it had been my usual size, it wouldn't have been so bad, but these shorts ran small and I was wearing a bigger size. I'm not making that excuse up. If you don't believe me, check my closet, my clothes really are smaller.

7) Feeding the fish, I noticed that Sunny, my big metallic yellow koi, was floating on his side. He was staring off into space and looked dead. I nudged him and he swam away. I had forgotten that fish don't blink, but still, fish don't swim on their side. I jumped in the car and bought some koi products for sick fish. I wished that I could take him to the vet, but the vets around here only treat land creatures. I dumped the stuff in the pond, but he failed to respond. Within a half hour he was dead. A burial service and two beers followed. He was a member of the family and deserved a wake, okay?

8) Murphy was green again from the pond, so I gave him a bath. While I was at it, I washed all of the dogs. Tommy, in the photo, is still mad at me. My gift of a pig's ear did nothing to improve his mood. I swear, I think he is part cat. Right after Murph got his bath, he climbed back into the pond.

9) Walking back into the kitchen, I slipped again and fell down.