Octoberfest In April

Airline security has become tough to get through, without laughing. It's illegal to joke about bombs on airplanes, which presents an enormous challenge. When I'm checking into a German airline and see the pictures of forbidden weapons with the title of "explosive stoffe", how can I not laugh and make jokes? I so wanted to tell Sarah to take the hand grenades out of her purse and hand them over to security so that they would be too distracted to notice the rocket launcher inside my coat.

I hope that it's not illegal to joke about it in a blog. In case it is, my official story is that I'm not joking. I really did have a rocket launcher in my coat. There, is that better?

I don't know why, but we had to fly to Germany in order to get to Ireland. Talk about frustrating. We flew directly over Ireland. The least they could have done was drop a little in altitude and let us jump with parachutes.

I did enjoy flying on Lufthansa. Had it been October, I would have thought for sure that it was Octoberfest. The booze was flowing like water, all of it free.

My guess is that Lufthansa has the same philosophy for taking care of passengers that nurses have towards patients. Keep them drugged and happy. Whether it's booze or morphine, the effect is the same. Sedation makes for less work, whether you are a nurse or a flight attendant.

It nearly killed me to turn down all of that free German beer, wine and mixed drinks, but alcohol and long flights aren't a good idea. Stoically, I accepted water, orange juice and sodas, plus I fed off of the candy bar platter.

I do have one complaint, though. It was the flight attendants. They were just too gorgous. Most of them were even taller than me with thin, perfect bodies. They were all young and several of them had long, blonde hair. Don't they know that I like to be the only tall, long-haired blonde in a room? It was also strange to be around so many German people. I never realized before how German I look. I guess my German genes won out over the English, Irish, Scottish, French, Dutch and Indian genes.