Where Are You Taking Her?
The patient had alternated between talking to and screaming at the apparitions and we were all sick of it. And despite her advanced old age and frailty, she was no lady. She knew every swear word in the book and used them all, with the F word being her favorite.
We tried sedating her so that the other patients in the room could get some rest. It didn't work. A private room opened up, so we moved her into it. As we were wheeling her out of the room, a visitor asked with grave concern in her voice, "Where are you taking her, may I ask?"
What did she think we were going to do with her? Push her over the balcony? Take her to the morgue? Dump her in the parking lot?
I sweetly answered that we were putting her another room. The visitor watched as we put her in her new room, just to make sure, I suppose.
Hospitals are scary places, but they're not that scary. We don't "get rid of" patients that are annoying. What did she think we were going to do to her?
Written by Melissa on 12:29 AM
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Melissa blogging from sunny Santa Clarita, Southern California, United States.
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7 Comments:
That is pretty funny. A hospital could really improve its morbidity rates that way. No patients would ever die in that hospital, they'd just somehow disappear. :)
Our OR has been known to improve its morbidity rate by quickly transferring to ICU, patients who are crashing fast and for whom there is no hope. Once without even closing the patient up because she was sinking so fast, they got her to ICU where she promptly died. Her situation was hopeless and that way, her death didn't affect our OR morbidity rate.
Not too far west of you, just past Simi Valley, is the sleepy little town of Moorpark. (Try pronouncing that backwards.) Moorpark is home to Egg City, at one time the world's largest producers of eggs.
Do you know what they do with their hens when they're too old to lay and too tough to eat?
They sell them to Campbell's Soup. ;)
Maybe the visitor wondered if Campbell's Soup uses old people in place of chickens.
Yes, It's called Soylent Green with Vegatables.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm on the way to Moorpark (Chili for dinner).
That is funny.
Alan... that is funny.
I'll never again be able to look at a sign for Moorpark the same way.
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