Stupid Nurse Tricks

Our new patient arrived on a gurney pushed by three nurses wearing TB masks. The patient was suspected of having TB, so until we knew for sure, we were using TB precautions. There was just one tiny problem; the patient wasn't wearing a mask. She was coughing, spewing and foaming at the mouth as she was transported through the hospital corridors. At least the three nurses thought to protect themselves, if no one else.

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When admitting patients, we're required to explain the pain scale and find out on a scale of1 to 10, with 10 being the worst, at what number they want to receive pain medicine. Some nurses will explain this rather abstract concept endlessly until the hopelessly lost patient gives them a number just to get them to shut up. I will only explain it twice before concluding that the patient needs a number chosen for them. If a patient is confused, I'll just write "confused" down on the form because the pain scale isn't used for confused patients.

I overheard my coworker explaining the pain scale to a patient. Actually, the entire floor overheard her explaining it because she was yelling. The patient had Alzheimers and didn't even know her own name, but that didn't stop the nurse from demanding that the patient give her a number. She even yelled, "If you don't give me a number, I'll be fired." The patient has a good excuse for her mental short-comings. What was the nurse's excuse?