It's Time To End This
Here we go again, another Richard post and I'm feeling depressed. We went out last night and he seemed to have a good time, but afterwards when I asked if he would like to go out again, he said, "We'll see." It's been my experience that "we'll see" means no.
I said that it doesn't sound like he's interested in me. He answered it wasn't that, he just needed time to think. Again, to my ears that sounds like no, he's not interested or has major reservations about me.
Richard is sixty and never been married because he says that he has never found the right woman. With all of the women he has dated and rejected over the last 45 years, I knew that there was little chance that I might be "the one" for him. But, I'm not looking for marriage, just a boyfriend and I guess I hoped that I would be good enough to be a girlfriend. It never occurred to me that Richard might actually be looking for a wife and kids.
Richard said last night that he wants to get married and have kids. He's sixty and I'm fifty. Kids are not going to happen. Even with in vitro and donor eggs it's unlikely to happen and I'm not sure that it should happen. He's open to adoption, but people our age can't adopt, even overseas. He would be open to marrying a woman with kids and helping to raise them, but anyone remotely in his age group would have only grown kids. He needs to find a much younger woman if he's serious about having kids. It never occurred to me that I might be too old for a sixty year old man.
Or, maybe it's not that at all and he just doesn't like me. He has said many times that I'm very attractive, smart, charming and easy to talk to, but I know there is a "but" in there somewhere. This isn't good and I don't like waiting to see what the verdict is going to be. I deserve better than this.
Written by Melissa on 8:53 PM
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Melissa blogging from sunny Santa Clarita, Southern California, United States.
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13 Comments:
Richard seems to have alot of issues. And he is sixty and never been married? Didn't you say he lives with his Mom still? I think you deserve better. Good luck.
Anon, Richard takes care of his eldery mom, which I think is to his credit, but I agree that he has many issues and I deserve better.
Melissa;
You do deserve better. The posts you have written in the past regarding Richard have never been positive, at least that is my interpretation as an unbiased ovserver. You present your self as a witty, attractive, intelligent and compassionate indivdual. In your posts Richard sounds like a pompous, secretive/deceptive asshole who has commitment issues and very serious trouble distinguishing what theft is. Which leads me to believe he has other transgressions that he has similar difficulties distinguishing from. Don't let his "problems" mess with your ego. I think you are terrific and you deserve better. So I say Lose the loser!! Wishing you all the best.
Sallie
I am a very liberal minded person, and I wouldn't have a problem being friends with someone like Richard. He seems like a nice guy. But to me he is definately not material for a serious relationship. Just my opinion.
I agree....
Richard sounds like a real downer. I hope that the right guy comes along soon. You need someone exciting, handsome, honest... someone that will adore your dogs and adores you even more. I was single for a long long time before I met Julian. I dated guys but never for long.... you know the rest of the story. I think that guy is out there for you... I know he is.
Errn4u, Richard does lack some boundaries, but he also has many things going for him. Regardless, he is not good for my self-confidence. Thanks, Sallie, I appreciate the kind words.
Gary, I agree that he is not a long-term kind of guy, but I'm also not sure he's much of a short-term guy either, at least not as far as I'm concerned. There are other issues I haven't mentioned. If things go badly enough, maybe I'll tell the rest of the story.
Madwag, I would be happy with boring and plain-looking. I just want someone who is smart, kind, really likes me and is not after my money.
.... boring and plain looking transforms into the most sexy adorable man ever.. if... he adores you. I dated some really good looking men... but they were ugly on the inside...and then all of a sudden they were ugly on the outside as well. Smart... and kind... big time turn on! Money ... that is something that can be there one minute and gone the next... money should never be an issue...we had a lot once then lost it.. now getting it back... money doesn't = love. Now.. the boring part???? I don't agree...excitement and fun... that makes a good relationship... and honesty of course. Adventure and Honesty... that is a good combo.
I dated pretty boys when I was in high school. Unfortunately, there wasn't much between the ears. There's alot to be said for intelligence, kindness and wit.
Madwag, I'm kind of boring myself. I don't think that an exciting man would be interested in me.
Connie, you got all three with your husband.
Melissa - I don't think you're boring at all. I think it's rude that Richard said, "We'll see", like it's all up to him! Was he serious??
Lisa, I'm more interesting on paper than in real life. I'm shy and don't like to talk much. I prefer to listen and observe.
Richard was serious, but I'm not sure what he should have said if he was unsure. He later clarified that he wants to be extra cautious with me and take things very slow. I have no idea what any of that means. It's so irritating not knowing.
Well, I suppose he could be more straightforward, because "We'll see" only leaves you wondering what the heck THAT means.
I'm not sure why he needs to be so cautious around you. It's not like you are needy or psychotic or anything.
That's kind of what bothers me. Maybe he thinks I'm needy or psychotic. Or, maybe he just wants to be extra careful because we work together and this could get very messy if it turns out badly. That is his version.
But, I don't like being left hanging. My feeling is that if he liked me, he would throw caution to the wind. What he is doing feels like lack of interest. If so, I would prefer to know and get it over with.
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