Good-Bye Gardeners

I finally did it. I have wanted to do this for almost ten years and I finally did it. I fired the gardeners. There are so many reasons for this. Let me explain.

The gardeners arrive at seven-thirty in the morning. It might as well be in the middle of the night as far as I am concerned. I work evenings and rarely get to sleep before one-thirty. If Georgie is acting up, I might be awake until three.

I don't sleep well on the night before gardener day, because I need to get up before they come and open the garage door and lock up the dogs. All night long I keep waking up and wondering if its time yet. Once it is starting to get light, I'll go downstairs and give the dogs one last chance to relieve themselves. Then, the doggy door is locked.

Once the gardeners arrive, the dogs bark like the world is coming to an end. Due to all of the excitement, MacKenzie will have a bowel movement on the carpet. Georgie sometimes will as well. And of course, what dog can have a bowel movement without also peeing? The day after gardener day, the carpet gets shampooed. My carpet shampooer gets so much use that it usually has to be replaced every year.

Once the gardeners have left, I have to close the garage and open the doggy door. I also have to stand and watch as the garage door comes down to make sure it doesn't go back up. The gardeners like to leave one of my brooms under the path of the door which prevents its closing. If the door doesn't close, the dogs can escape. I learned that the hard way.

The rest of the day, I'm tired and miserable. It also makes me unhappy when I see what they have done. They are only supposed to take care of the lawn, but they won't keep their mitts off my other plants. They love to prune and they have no idea what they are doing. I live in a warm climate. My rose bushes don't need to be pruned almost to the ground. I want them big and bushy. I also get upset when they weed-whack my dormant plants as they emerge from the ground. The gardeners can't tell irises from weeds. They also till the soil after I have planted seeds. And I'm still mad that last week I was making some soup and needed Swiss chard. I went out into the yard to get some and it was gone. I don't know if they thought the Swiss chard were weeds or if they wanted some for dinner also.

I would have fired them sooner, but my parents have insisted that I have gardeners. Rather than argue with them, it was just easier to do what they wanted. Now, my parents are old, frail
and not entirely with it. My dad is living in a nursing home and thinks he is on a ship. I see no reason to tell him any different. Since his last hospitalization, he just hasn't been the same. I suspect he went too long without oxygen before they were able to intubate him. My mom has the same mild dementia.

It is depressing having both of my parents being cognitively impaired, but it does have certain advantages. I was finally able to fire the gardeners.