I Really Don't Hate Lawyers

The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So, a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you do not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community through the United Way?

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way representative mumbles, "Uh.... no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children."

The stricken United Way representative begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly," did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children, one of whom is disabled and another has learning disabilities that require an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way representative, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So.... if I don't give any money to them, what in the hell makes you think I'd ever give any to you?"