Bottom Problems

We have a skin cream at work for diaper rash. It is a whitish paste that is applied in the usual areas that are covered by a diaper. Diaper rash is a major problem with old folks.

Skipping ahead, one of my coworkers went into a room to check on her patient and the patient's normally rosy complexion was now a ghastly, ashen grey color. The nurse panicked. She just knew that her patient had died. The nurse ran over and shook the patient and she woke up.

It turned out that the patient's granddaughter had applied the diaper rash cream to the patient's face. I don't know why, perhaps she thought that it was moisturizer. It was harmless, except for scaring her nurse silly.

Another patient was in the ER with a broken hip. The doctor noticed that the patient had poopy pants and asked the nurses to clean her up. They said that they couldn't because the patient had a broken hip. They told the doctor that they would just send the patient upstairs and that we would take care of it. This conversation was overheard by the transporter who brought us the patient.

It may come as a surprise to those ER nurses, but the patient still had a broken hip when we received her. We have no special tricks for cleaning bottoms. We just do what they should have done, roll, wash and listen to the screams. Lazy bitches.