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Misadventurous Melissa

Everyday is an adventure, or misadventure as the case may be. It is the latter that makes for the best stories, inspiring the name of my blog. I'm a nurse and an attorney (and way too silly sometimes). I am retired now. WELCOME to my blog! This is a work of fiction inspired by true events. The patients I refer to are a patchwork quilt of various patient's problems mixed together. If you think you recognize someone, you are wrong. These people do not really exist.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The Law

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell your boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change waiting lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater: At any event, people whose seats are furthest from the aisle.... arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Rugs+Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Cliff’s Law: As soon as you get interested in a new TV show that has an end of the season cliff-hanger ending they will cancel it for the next season without resolving the plot.


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5 Comments:

At 10/01/2006 06:17:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vanity law: The day you choose to go to the grocery store with dirty hair is the day you run into an old beau.

 
At 10/01/2006 11:52:00 PM, Blogger Michelle said...

I so agree with those "Laws", my favs are the Coffee Law and Probability Law!

 
At 10/03/2006 12:36:00 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Connie, so is that what I need to do if I wish to increase the chances of running into an old beau?

Michelle, the coffee law is also true for me, although it will be the patients who need me. Someone always needs a bedpan.

 
At 10/03/2006 02:47:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You also need to make sure you are wearing old sweats and no make up! That will bring out the ex's for sure.

 
At 10/03/2006 07:05:00 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

Connie, considering that is how I normally look, it's a wonder I'm not surrounded.

 

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