A Pox, Syrup And Spanglish
A nurse said that she wanted to send a pox to the pharmacy.
The other nurse responded, "You want to send a pox to the pharmacy?"
She responded, "No, not a pox, a fox."
"You want to send a fox to the pharmacy?"
The answer was yes. So she repeated, "You want to send a fox to the pharmacy?"
Asked to spell it, she answered F A X. Suddenly it all made sense.
I normally wouldn't do such a thing, but I was hungry. A waffle was left over from a patient's breakfast and I just had to have it. It looked untouched, but how does one truly know? I decided to risk it.
Being eating impaired, I spilled maple syrup all over me. No matter how much I wiped, I couldn't get rid of the odor on me. And worse yet, it was that awful artificial maple syrup odor. I had to put up with that smell all night.
Just when I thought that things couldn't get any worse, I had to catheterize a woman who hadn't bathed in awhile. A long while. That smell is still stuck in my nostrils. I'm also still smelling artificial maple flavoring. No matter how bad things are, they can always get worse.
The patient was Korean and the nurse asked her if she spoke English. She answered, "poquito." (sp?)
It can't be easy learning English in L.A.
Written by Melissa on 12:29 AM
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Melissa blogging from sunny Santa Clarita, Southern California, United States.
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7 Comments:
LOL. Yes, poquito is spelled right, and means "a little" in Spanish, as you probably knew. I hope some day all humans speak the same language. Probably not very likely, though.
A long time ago, when I used to service computers, I was sent to an accountant's office in downtown LA. Before I left, one our salesmen told me, "When you're all done, tell Mr. Lee 'Kam samni da'."
I dutifully memorized it, praying it didn't mean "Your mother dresses you funny", and after I'd fixed Mr. Lee's computer, I said, "Kam samni da." I tried not to cringe as I awaited his response.
Mr. Lee said, "Ah! Kam samni da! Kam samni da!" He was smiling. Turns out it simply means, "Thank you." I can say that in about a dozen languages now. In Los Angeles, knowing a little bit in lots of languages does come in handy. ;)
Oh god, i should know better than to read your blog just before eating! Stupid stupid me LOL!
Don't you just hate how some terrible smells can live in your nostrils for days, months, even years? I have a patient whose house and bedroom smell horribly---at least to me---and I just can't seem to rid myself of the scent afterwards. If it's winter, I rub my shoes in the snow for a few minutes before I even get back in my car. During the summer I just rub them in the dirt and grass. I consider it my Nurse's Shuffle.
I was once on a plane from New England to San Fransisco with my wife. There was a man seated next to me who had on his earphones and was watching a funny movie. Every time he laughed, his breath would fill the cabin with the smell of water that's been sitting in a vase with old flowers for too long. I offered him mints and gum but he didn't accept my offer or take the hint. I still have a deathly fear of vases to this day.....
Dave, you live dangerously. I would be terrified to use a phrase that I didn't know the meaning of. :)
Michelle, you like to live dangerously as well by reading my blog before eating.
Keith, I'm glad that you visit. I'm sorry about Sparkey. It's devastating to lose a pet.
Sometimes, to try and get rid of a smell, I'll get in the shower and snort, inhale and snort water to try and wash a smell away. Those smell molecules can be so stubborn.
Don't they make the patients bathe every day? They do here, or if the patient cannot bathe, they are given a sponge bath.
Poor Melissa. Syrup and body odor all in one day ;-)
There are worse things to smell like than maple syrup. Even he artificial kind. Hope you enjoyed your surplus waffle. :)
Karen, this patient had been admitted from home that morning. Baths, if they are done at all, start on the next day. We are so short-staffed when it comes to aides, that it's not unusual for patients to never get a bath while they are in the hospital.
Gary, that is sure true. The waffle wasn't good. It was soft and squishy and I hate artificial maple syrup.
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