Tricks For Improving Morale

At work, I came across a book that had been given to all of the managers. It was about building morale and letting employees know how much they are appreciated. I don't think any of our managers have ever read it.

It listed, literally, hundreds of ways to increase morale. Many of the suggestions were, well, interesting. Here are my favorites:

1) Instead of casual Friday, have dress up Fridays. Everyone comes to work in formal wear.

(I actually love this idea since dressing up is my idea of fun, but I'm not sure which of my gowns would work best on the floor. Should I wear the silk, low-cut white gown with the train that would sop up all of the nasty stuff on the floor? Or, perhaps the tight, beaded gown that requires a good girdle would be a better choice for changing patient's adult diapers and diarrhea soaked linens. The red taffeta ball gown, that I can barely breathe in, might also be fun to work in. And, don't get me started on the fun shoes that these outfits would require.)

2) Have a bring your pet to work day.

( Again, I love this idea since it makes me so sad to leave my three dogs at home. But, do the MBA's who run this place know that the business they run is in the business of health care, as opposed to say, manufacturing widgets? I'm fairly certain that it is against the law to have ordinary dogs and cats wandering around in hospitals and medical clinics. )

3) Reward employees with a "give your coworkers the shaft" day. The two lucky winners would have lunch in an elevator. There would be a fancy table set with linen, china and gourmet food. A violinist (I am not making this up) would serenade them during lunch.

(Um, I'm quite certain that eating lunch in an elevator would be something less than pleasurable for me. I'm claustrophobic. In fact, if you wished to punish me, that would do the trick.)

4) Have a bad hair day contest. Everyone recreates their worst hair day and a prize is given to the winner.

( This would be fun, but my bad hair days involve hair coloring mishaps. I'm not dying my hair charcoal gray or orange for anyone.)

I can't imagine why none of the managers have borrowed any of the fun ideas from this book. The only possible explanation is that they have never read it.