Top 10 Reasons Why I Want Star Trek Beds In My Unit
10. The patient never has to be helped into or out of bed, nor even undressed.
9. The patient doesn't need any IV lines, tubes or monitor cables.
8. The patient doesn't need to be pulled up in bed, turned or even have a siderail.
7. The patient never needs to be fed and never needs to be bathed.
6. The patient never has an excessive number of visitors.
5. The patient never urinates, defecates, vomits, or expectorates.
4. The patient will get up at the end of 46 minutes, unless killed of in the first 5 minutes of the show to entice you into watching the remainder of the program. He will not need a wheelchair for discharge.
3. The patient rarely needs translator services arranged.
2. The patient never contradicts or denies to the doctor what I just reported the patient had said or done.
1. The patient does not have a call bell, does not call out "NURSE!!!" or demand that his unreasonable request be done because he was a physician in his old country.
by Tom Trimble, RN (with modifications)
Written by Melissa on 11:35 AM
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Melissa blogging from sunny Santa Clarita, Southern California, United States.
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6 Comments:
LOL!
I suppose on Star Trek, when the patient yells, "Nurse!" the bed automatically replies, "Coming!" :)
Hey, that's a great idea and we have the technology to do that. Maybe you should patent that idea. Just think, we wouldn't have to yell and the patients wouldn't feel as ignored. :)
I like the Star Wars fluid tanks (that Luke was in) better.
I don't recall that, but I do like the concept of sealing a patient in a tank. It sounds like they would be a whole lot easier to take care of. :)
The workload definently appears more manageable, and those robot Doctors don't yell at you when you have to page them in the middle of the night when your patient is crashing. But I had a hard enough time with the 12 hour shifts all the hospitals are trying to switch to. What are the star trek shifts, something like 30 light years!! And do we have to wear those skin tight unoforms? I really like my clothes to be loose and comfortable, you know with the all you can eat buffet waistband! (We can't all have Melissa's perfect figure!)
I forgot about the skin tight uniforms. That would be kind of miserable and you're right, the staff is always on duty. That might be okay with the Filipinos, but not with the spoiled American nurses like me.
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