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Misadventurous Melissa

Everyday is an adventure, or misadventure as the case may be. It is the latter that makes for the best stories, inspiring the name of my blog. I'm a nurse and an attorney (and way too silly sometimes). I am retired now. WELCOME to my blog! This is a work of fiction inspired by true events. The patients I refer to are a patchwork quilt of various patient's problems mixed together. If you think you recognize someone, you are wrong. These people do not really exist.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Words Women Use

FINE :

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES:

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

NOTHING:

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in.

FINE, GO AHEAD:

This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH:

This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

THAT'S OKAY:

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS:

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.

Oh, and before we forget,

"WHATEVER":

....it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!


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2 Comments:

At 10/20/2005 01:27:00 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

I love this one! And it's all true!

 
At 10/20/2005 01:38:00 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

It's been my personal experience that men also speak this same special language or at least the one I was married to did. But then, he behaved more like a woman than I did. (By that, I mean that he was emotional and liked to talk issues to death, after the silent treatment was over.)

 

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