Nice Try

My patient was close to 90 years old and his devoted wife always sat next to his bed and knitted. They seemed like such a sweet couple. She left the room for a few minutes to get something to eat and after she left, the patient said to me, "I want you to be my girlfriend." I just looked at him, and he said the same thing again. I smiled and said I'll just be your nurse instead and walked out. I guess he figured that it was worth a shot.

Another patient told his wife that girls in pink bikinis had been in his room. She just laughed. Thank goodness she didn't believe him. For the gentlemen patients, the nurses often prance around in pink bikinis. The lucid patients are smart enough not to tell and the confused patients aren't believed. ;)

Lastly, a patient kept complaining about cats in her room. Every once in awhile she would shriek when one got near her. When her doctor came to visit, she complained about the cats. As he left the room, he loudly told the nurse to get rid of the cats. After that there were no more problems with imaginary cats. Sometimes all it takes is a man in a white coat for problems to go away.